Inside this post: Military base gate etiquette faux pas to avoid. Save yourself from an embarrassing moment at the military base gate.
Ah, the military base gate. To get onto base you have to pull up to the gate. Then you show your ID card to the security forces member. (Or MPs–military police.) (Or Daf guards, which are civilian police.)
It seems like a simple process and most of the time it is. You hold out your card. They take it. Look at it and/or scan it and then hand it back.
I’ve had moments when embarrassing things have occurred because, well, it’s me.
Embarrassing things that happen at the military base gate.
1. I’ve dropped my ID card onto the ground when holding it out. Multiple times. Sometimes the person picks it up. Sometimes I get one that stares at me like, “Am I supposed to get it? Am I your personal servant?”
2. Handed over my credit card instead of my ID card. The MP was like, “Cool, thanks!” in a joking manner.
3. Smacked my hand against the window. I thought it was rolled down. It wasn’t. I was laughed at, naturally. And I hurt my hand.
4. Replied, “The cheese is great,” when asked, “how are you doing?” I’ve no idea why I said this. It was before I had any caffeine and well, I do think about cheese quite a bit.
5. Accidentally flung my ID card into the back seat. I had to actually pull over and find it.
6. Had a coughing fit and the gate guard looked at me like I was diseased. I tried to explain that I just inhaled some dust, but I was coughing so much and couldn’t get it out so yeah, he thought I was diseased.
7. Pulled up right when the “give it to me, baby!” part of Pretty Fly For A White Guy came on. I think the security forces woman thought I was coming onto her from the expression she had on.
8. Replied with, “I will after lots of Diet Coke and chocolate,” when asked, “Are you having a good day?” I think most expect the generic, “I’m good,” response.
9. I forgot to turn down my headlights and blinded everyone at the gate. They then told my husband that “dude, your wife totally blinded us last night!”
Do embarrassing things happen to you?
This post originally appeared on Airing My Laundry. Written by Amber Myers.
Want more on military life?
- Military Base Gate Etiquette: 10 Small Ways to Avoid a Giant SNAFU
- Why I Didn’t “Go Home” When My Service Member Deployed
- 47 Things No One Tells You About Being a Military Wife
- Are Military Spouses Unknowingly Violating OPSEC?
New to this community? Start here, friend.